Friend Zone
by pestilent.defiler
Summary: Mordecai loves Lilith. Lilith loves him like her best friend. Mordecai wants something more. **Writer's Block of Doom** I have NOT given up, this story WILL continue, I promise! Thanks, dear readers. *heart* 8-29-13
1. Chapter 1

Author's Note: Characters seem a little OOC to me because I've spent so much time with the snarky badasses of BL1, but I really wanted to incorporate the personality and feel of the newest BL2 DLC, in which Lilith's past as a D&D nerd was revealed and my crush on her exploded into full on "I LOVE THIS WOMAN". There is a possibility that this will be a one-shot, but I really doubt it. Reviews much appreciated. 3

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* * *

Mordecai knew he was only making himself feel worse. Staring at the woman…it wasn't going to help. He'd always prided himself on his ability to attract women. Most of it was effortless- his naturally aloof manner and the mystery of his mostly-masked face went a long way, and he'd developed a certain tone of voice that usually had his desired target practically falling at his feet. It was a gift he'd rarely used on anyone he cared about, but it had never failed until now.

He sighed deeply. He didn't regret coming to Pandora, but the endless bounties and the unexpected camaraderie that had developed between the four newest Vault Hunters couldn't make up for the fact that he felt like a damned lovesick puppy. No one knew save for his avian friend, but it was humiliating all the same.

"I don't know, Blood. How did this happen?" he sighed.

Bloodwing was sneaking strips of the carcass his master was supposed to be skinning and dressing. When the man had abandoned his task to stare off towards their traveling companions, the bird hadn't wasted any time. He couldn't answer anyway, save for an almost guilty look as he hastily tossed back his wickedly sharp beak to finish the stolen treat. He needn't have bothered; the Master hadn't even glanced his way.

_._

_It hadn't happened right away, these things never did. He had known Lilith for weeks by that time, and they had become close friends. They were alike in many ways, both in this for riches and the thrill of a good fight, a good kill. The sniper and the siren both had a disconcerting habit of bursting into gleeful laughter when they made enemies more or less explode with the force of their bullets, a habit that led Roland and Brick to pair up with each other more often than not when the little group separated, just to avoid the nightmares._

_He'd found her beautiful right away, but that didn't mean anything. Lots of women were attractive. Granted, not all of them could kill dozens of people in a minute, or make acid come out of their hands, or even shake off showers of blood as if it were just water, but she wasn't really so different. _

_Through their friendship, Mordecai got to see a side of Lilith that the other two didn't, and he had to admit that was probably the beginning of his undoing. They didn't know she liked to read, or that she'd been an awkward child. The fact that she loved flowers almost as much as she loved setting things on fire wasn't one Brick and Roland were privy to. These things weren't secrets, but rather topics that came up casually while walking or looting. _

_In the same vein, Lilith knew that he was colorblind, and how Bloodwing had come into his life. Somehow his fondness for costume dramas had come up, but with a laugh she promised to keep that to herself. Mordecai usually preferred to work alone, but they made a good team. More often than not lately, they didn't even have to speak or plan but just fell seamlessly into an unstoppable force of destruction. _

.

Mordecai fell even deeper into his thoughts. He didn't notice Bloodwing continuing to steal meat, or that the fire at the temporary camp was ready for the main course he was supposed to be preparing. He didn't even notice Brick walking in his direction as the giant man yelled, "Hey skinny! Where's the grub?"

_._

_One day they had become separated for a while, hunting spiderants in the Rust Commons. Mordecai thought nothing of it, trusting that the siren could keep herself out of trouble. He was in a perfect position, landing shot after shot on the soft spots of the giant bugs, when he heard a scream. It was unmistakably Lilith. Time stood still for a moment before he'd had the presence of mind to ECHO her._

_"Lil? You okay?"_

_She didn't answer._

_"Lil, seriously. What the fuck?" he had scrambled down from his perch and sent Bloodwing ahead to look for her._

_"Lilith, damn it! Answer me!"_

_An impressive ball of fire appeared in the middle of the last few spiderants, killing them instantly. _

_"Mordy, Mordy, look at this! This is the most amazing thing ever!" _

_Lilith screamed again, and now that she was closer it was obviously triumphant rather than a signal of trouble. The maniacal grin on her face had been the biggest tipoff. He had glared at her, feeling sudden rage bubbling up inside of him._

_"Damn you, you insane bitch! Why the hell didn't you answer me? I thought something had happened to you!"_

_"Augh, whatever. Shut up," Lilith dismissed him, eyes dancing. "Do you not see this?"_

_"Wha- oh. Oh, shit, look at that."_

_Giant flaming wings sprouted from the woman's back, casting a flickering light in the dimness of the tall canyon they were in. Her body was outlined starkly, every curve highlighted and licked with flame. Her tattoos glowed and suddenly Mordecai had realized that his friend was truly one of the powerful, incredible Sirens that legend spoke of. _

_He stood captivated, anger completely forgotten. He'd had the distinct feeling that he should be saying something, but his mouth was dry. All he could do was stare in awe. Lilith solved his problem._

_"Unce unce unce unce oooh, check me out!" she danced, for whatever ridiculous reason choosing to imitate a Claptrap unit. "Unce unce unce unce oh come on, get down!" _

_She grabbed his hand, forcing him to twirl as she hopped like the little robots. _

_"Mordy, check me out! I'm dancin'! I'm dancin'!"_

_The wings had begun to fade, but the glee in her eyes had not._

_"Do you have any idea how many things I can set on fire with my body now? This is the coolest thing I have ever done!"_

_"Right. True. But next time you discover one of your freaky powers can you not scare the shit out of me?" Mordecai managed._

_"Aww, I didn't know you cared!" she had teased, jubilantly kissing him on the cheek and bumping him with her shoulder._

_Mordecai cared, all right. In those moments he'd realized how precious and rare a jewel she was, and that he would die to protect her. For the first time in his life, Mordecai was truly in love._

.

"Hey!" Brick squatted, snapping meaty fingers in the hunter's face. "Hey man, come on! We're starving, what's the holdup?"

Mordecai startled, causing a very full Bloodwing to fly a few feet away while screeching in protest.

"What?" he blinked and recovered quickly, "Gimme a break, beefcake. I've only been over here for 10 minutes or somethin'. I was trying to decide if keeping the skin was worth the extra couple bucks it'd bring in."

"No." Brick stated flatly. "Last time you did that, we had to smell the damn thing for a week before you found a buyer."

"Hmm." Mordecai grumbled.

Mordecai had had plenty of practice making meals from carcasses, and the process only took a minute or two. Brick hauled the animal over his shoulder and all but sprinted to the fire, where he and Roland affixed it to a spit some bandits had left behind. The hunter took his time ambling over to the camp, heading for the runner where he was sure he would find something to clean off the worst of the gore.

As he lifted the compartment lid, he heard Lilith approaching from behind him. Her step was unmistakable, at least to the observant hunter.

"Ew, no. You're gross, don't go in there!"

He turned to eyeball the woman. "You're not serious. Have you looked at yourself lately?"

"Excuse me," she drew herself up, "I may be dirty but I am not getting blood everywhere, unlike someone I know."

"What's the difference? Don't tell me you're gettin' all fussy on me now."

"The difference is that my new Maliwan catalogue is in there and I haven't gotten to look at it yet. Last time I had one Brick used it for toilet paper, the time before that Roland used it to start the fire, and I am not having you get it all bloody!"

"Spoiler alert," Mordecai smirked at her, "the new Hellfire is out."

"It is?" her whole face lit up, and Mordecai's heart skipped a beat.

"Yeah, I noticed when I was rippin' it up to cushion my boots."

"You what?" Lilith shrieked.

.

Over by the fire Roland shook his head. Brick rolled his eyes.

"Those two just never quit, do they?" Roland commented.

"Nope," Brick replied, never taking his eyes off of the roasting meat.

.

"Whoa there, chica! I take it back, okay? I never touched it, I know better."

Lilith leaned into the compartment and found her prize safely stowed in the corner where she'd stashed it. She rummaged for a moment and came up with a mostly clean rag and a container of water.

"Here, hold still," she told her gore covered friend and splashed his arms with the water.

"Uh, don't we need that?"

"Nah, it's just the piss I've been saving up for a moment like this."

"Please tell me you're kidding."

She sighed. "You're no fun. Yes, I'm kidding and no, we don't need it. Not for drinking- how the hell did you think I get all the gunk off of me?" she paused and added, "The worst of it, anyway."

He shrugged and she nodded condescendingly at him. She put the water down and grabbed the rag. She began to rub the blood from Mordecai's arms, businesslike but not rough. It crossed his mind to protest but he just stood there with an impatient look on his face. Inside, he reveled at the contact. He longed to put his slightly less bloody arms around her, to feel her body against his and tell her how he really felt.

"All right, good enough," Lilith announced. "I pronounce you marginally less disgusting."

"Quite an honor, to be sure."

"Damn straight," she replied, and walked toward the fire. "You coming or what?"

.

Dinner was the same as always. Brick and Roland polished off most of it, Mordecai ate just enough to keep from dying- or so Brick said- and Lilith bitched about needing salt. For once they were in an abandoned bandit camp with rough shacks enough for each vault hunter to have their own space, and Mordecai for one was looking forward to the solitude. As he headed toward the dwelling he had chosen he spotted Brick hauling a pile of the girly mags he collected obsessively out of a runner. Okay, so maybe he wasn't the only one wanting some private time.

As he spread out his meager bedroll and saw to Bloodwing's roost, Mordecai wondered if he'd actually be able to sleep. Sleeping in the bright sun of Pandora was always a challenge except on the most grueling of days, which this had not been. He removed everything but his shirt and pants, climbing on top of the thin blanket that in theory cushioned him from the ground. Tomorrow they would return to New Haven and presumably pick up some new missions, and the night cycle would finally roll around.

As he lay trying to will sleep to come, his thoughts turned as always to Lilith. He enjoyed every moment he could spend with her, but she treated him like a friend- or worse, like a brother. He had tried to work his charm on the woman, but she remained oblivious to the point that he wondered if she was doing it on purpose.

"_Oh, Lilith, damn it._" He thought. He'd thought his teenage years were bad, fraught as they were with awkward moments and dismal failures. This was somehow worse. Of course, as a teenager he'd had more alone time.

He smiled. That was one way to get to sleep, and not taking advantage of the opportunity seemed like a waste. His thoughts turned to Lilith once again, but this time emotional quandaries were the last thing on his mind.

_She's sitting next to me and I put my arms around her. She smiles at me and we kiss. Her lips are so soft, and she tastes of strawberries. Her tongue is like silk and she tangles her hand in my hair. She moans into my mouth and breaks away. I can see how hard her nipples are through her shirt. She takes it off and flings it so she can unzip her pants._

Mordecai unzipped his own pants and took his mostly hard cock in his hand. Yes, that was it.

_Her pants are off and she's saying, "I want you, Mordy. I've always wanted you." I take one of her nipples in my mouth and swirl my tongue around it. She moans and puts my hand in her crotch. "No more, I can't wait. I need you now!" she groans, and I can feel how wet she is._

His cock was fully hard and he stroked it slowly, immersed in his improbable fantasy and wanting to make it last.

_I part her thighs so that I can get to the soft skin there, running my hands over it and making her shiver. I kiss my way up her thigh and I'm at her center and I can smell her and it's so good, so good. I taste her and she moans, begging me to give her more._

His hand worked faster, thoughts beginning to jumble.

_I'm licking her and I have my fingers inside of her and she's so tight and wet. "Fuck me, Mordecai! I want you inside me now!" and I push into her and she's calling my name, "Mordy! Mordy!"_

_._

"Mordy! Mordecai, come on, I know you're not sleeping yet."

Mordecai snapped back to reality in a panic, cock in hand, precome glistening at the tip.

"Lil? What the hell do you want?"

He painfully stuffed himself back into his pants and struggled with the zipper, which stuck as zippers are wont to do in such circumstances. He flipped over onto his stomach, wincing at the hardness of the ground and pillowing his head on his arms as if he'd been that way all along.

"I'm bored and everybody else is asleep. Can I come in?"

"I was asleep too, thanks for asking."

"No you weren't."

Mordecai froze, not breathing. Had he been making noise? He couldn't remember.

"I know you have trouble sleeping during the day, too. So will you keep me company or what?"

He breathed again, relief flooding his body like a drug.

"For fuck's sake, woman. Don't you have a book or somethin'? Or your precious catalog?"

"Screw you, I'm coming in." Lilith parted the flap and stepped inside, flooding the small building with light.

"I finished my book three days ago and I thought looking at the catalog would be more fun with you. They've got some great revolvers this season."

"Satisfaction abounds," Mordecai said with no small amount of venom.

She laughed and sprawled out next to him on the dirt, tossing down the glossy magazine and propping her head up by the elbows. She

playfully nudged the prone hunter.

"See, isn't it nice having a friend to shop with? It's like being a kid again having a sleepover!"

Mordecai made a strangling noise and covered his face with his hands.

* * *

Note: Sexual content intentionally ridiculous. In my head, his is what men think about whilst jacking- a mixture of bad porno and self-centric fantasy. Proofreading husband concurred.


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: Part Two! Speaking of part two, I've decided I won't post a chapter until I've started the next. Meaning that I've already started chapter three... If anyone is happy about this, I would dearly love to know it. Uh, I don't really know what to say about this chapter. I wrote a shit ton of dialogue. Enjoy.

Oh, and there are a couple of random references in here. *coughGoodOmenscough* So, a virtual goldfish in a bag if you catch 'em.

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"I'm not doin' it," Mordecai growled.

"Yeah you are, Skinny. You're getting pathetic," Roland replied evenly.

"This is an intervention," Brick nodded.

"Your balls are gonna explode, Mordecai. Come on. It'll work."

Weeks had passed, and Mordecai's secret was out. It was hard to hide the way he watched over Lilith in battle, or the tenderness with which he bandaged her wounds. Even Bloodwing had a beady eye out for her, and while she complained about the bird stealing kills, he had saved her from harm more than once.

"I'm not doin' it," the hunter repeated.

"It'll be perfect! A little wine, a few candles, some music…" Brick clasped his massive hands together over his heart and batted his eyelashes, "and she'll be swept off her feet. And naked."

"When was the last time you saw wine on this planet, Beefcake? And music? Like that romantic crap? She'd think I was outta my mind."

"Okay, maybe not wine. But there's Maliwan Black Label at the bar, and you can listen to, uh…" Roland rummaged in his pockets and pulled out a battered data drive. He squinted at the label. "Queen's Greatest Hits!"

Mordecai and Brick stared at him.

"Okay, yeah. Sorry. I thought I had something else but this is all I can ever seem to find. What about the ECHO net? You'll find somethin'."

"You jackasses are pissin' me off. Willya just mind your own business? Please?"

"No," the other two men said in unison.

"There ain't nothin' sadder than seein' a man stuck in the friend zone, Mordy." Brick added.

"We've all been there, but you've got it too bad, it's like watching a kid drop their ice cream cone. Every day."

"Also, we already booked the rooms."

"Also that, yeah."

"You assholes."

"That's the spirit!" Roland clapped the smaller man on the shoulder. "Now we'll go find Lil and tell her there were only two rooms," he winked, "and you go get the drinks, awright?"

"And try to look sexy!" Brick added, emphatically loud enough that several people turned to stare. He tossed the room key.

"Mierda," Mordecai muttered, and caught it.

.

Given his success rate with Lilith so far, Mordecai wasn't too hopeful. He shoved a chewed pencil underneath the short leg of the room's rickety table so he could place his armful of bottles on top of it without the risk of them toppling right off. If this dump was "New Haven's Premier Luxury Lodgings" as the key fob cheerily proclaimed, he really didn't want to see the competition.

However, a quick peek at the lone double bed revealed clean sheets, and while the fixtures in the bathroom were grimy and chipped, the plumbing actually worked. He had to admit that for this part of the planet it _was_ pretty damn luxurious. It was certainly better than the way the four usually lived.

He wondered where Lilith had gotten to. Had she learned about the accommodations and decided it was better to rough it out of town? Maybe that would be better, even though he knew he'd never sleep while worrying about her being on her own out there. He wandered over to scritch Bloodwing, who was perched on top of a lamp in the corner of the room.

"Hey. Hey, Skinny," Roland's voice crackled over his ECHO.

"Do I even want to know what you want?" Mordecai snapped.

"You know it! Operation: Get Laid is underway!"

"What are you, five?"

Roland ignored him. "She's on her way; she said she was looking for something to eat. We probably shoulda thought of that."

"And you with the perfect plan and everything."

A muffled voice came over the line, sounding like "Ll mmer imoo er."

"What? Wait, was that Brick? Damn it, don't you two have anything better to do?"

"Naw, this is way better than anything else there is to do in this town. Brick says to tell you there's time to shower."

The muffled voice came back, "ey iotah ate eeah isll eeaw um!"

Roland laughed, "Hell yeah, good one!"

"What'd he say this time?"

"Don't worry about it, man. Just get all prettied up!" Roland broke the contact.

Mordecai sighed, irritated with his friends even though he appreciated their intentions. He looked at his hands and arms. They really were filthy. Every part of him was filthy. He walked into the bathroom and stripped, casting his clothes down in a messy pile.

The tap squeaked as he turned it, and the pipes gave a howling groan worse than that of the skags he'd killed earlier in the day. In a moment, rusty water came cascading out of the showerhead. He was about to step in, reasoning that it was cleaner than he was, when the water turned clear. It was a beautiful sight, but not quite as good as the small cake of used soap he discovered in the soap dish.

Mordecai wasn't usually one to loll about while bathing, but the feeling of clean after months of accumulated grime from being out in the desert was amazing. Dirty water cascaded off of his body to swirl slowly down the partially blocked drain. The water finally began to run clear and he seriously considered getting out. His hand was on the tap when Lilith came barging in the bathroom door.

"Hey, did you drown in there?"

"I'm trying."

"Look, I'm gonna take your clothes."

"What?" he stared out of the grimy frosted glass at the woman's hazy form.

"Brick says there's a coin-op laundry in the basement and he's offering to do the wash. I'm not passing that up. We're just going to get dirty again tomorrow but I'd like to feel clean for a while. I know it probably makes me a terrible person but I'm kinda glad Roland hurt his ankle."

"His what?"

"His ANKLE, are you deaf? Didn't you wonder why he wanted to stop here overnight?"

"Actually, yes. I did." Mordecai closed his eyes and thought about pounding his head against the tiled wall.

"Anyway, I figured we could just wear towels or whatever until he comes back."

"For fuck's sake, Lilith!"

"What, are you a prude?"

"No, but I'm only human, are you tryin' to kill me?"

Lilith laughed. "You're sweet, Mordy. It's only for a couple hours. I'm sure you'll live."

.

Mordecai wondered how long he could put off leaving the bathroom, and then decided he was being absurd. He nabbed the single threadbare towel from the rack over the alarmingly angled toilet and wrapped it around his thin hips. "_What the hell,_" he thought, and prepared to use The Voice.

"How you doin'?" Mordecai drawled, using The Voice to its full effect as he leaned casually against the doorframe.

Lilith was sprawled across the bed, fiddling with her ECHO and drinking a Black Label. The thin whitish towel barely covered her, and Mordecai was almost sure her legs went on forever. Her breasts were mostly exposed as well, their pale yet slightly tanned tops practically overflowing their confines. There was an obvious tan line where her camisole usually ended. Her tattoos covered the whole side of her body, he noticed, and wondered if there was a special swirl over her pubes as well as the ones over her breasts and toes. She looked up at him and grinned.

"Look at you! You clean up pretty well, Scruffy. Now get the hell out of that bathroom because I've really gotta pee."

Crushed but not showing it, Mordecai made a mocking bow and stepped away from the door, holding his arms out as if presenting it. She curtsied at him and rushed in, slamming the door in her hurry. Mordecai grabbed a bottle from the table and sat on the edge of the bed, looking at Bloodwing. He raised his bottle at the bird.

"Here's to the death of The Voice, Blood. For years it served me well, and on Pandora it met an untimely end." He drank.

"Are you talking to me, or Bloodwing?" Lilith called from the bathroom.

"I forget, which one of you has feathers?"

"Must be him then. Carry on!"

He heard the shower start, and opened an ECHO channel to Brick and Roland.

"Brick, you are an asshole. Laundry? Really?"

Roland snorted.

"Who, me?" Brick asked, "But man, first step covered! Aren't you naked?"

"In towels, since you're so interested. "

"_That_ is a sight I would love to see."

"Shut up, Brick." Mordecai and Roland said together.

"This is such bullshit." He paused for dramatic effect, "The Voice doesn't work on her."

"The voice?" Brick was confused.

"What voice? Your voice? What, did you get tongue tied or something?" Roland asked.

"No, damn it! The Voice. With capital letters. The one that's been gettin' me laid since I was seventeen."

"You have A Voice?" Roland asked through laughter, "A special 'Fuck Me' voice?"

"I want one of those!" Brick exclaimed. "Does it work?"

"It used to." Mordecai sighed.

"Cheer up, Skinny. The night is still young!"

"And fullll of romaaaaance!" Brick warbled.

"What the hell was that supposed to be? Singing? Stick to punchin' people, Beefcake. I'm out."

Mordecai ended the connection and flopped back on the bed in frustration, feet on the ground and bottle held on his chest. He didn't know how long he'd been staring at the cracks in the ceiling when Lilith finally emerged from the bathroom. He didn't bother moving.

"Hey, buddy," she said to Bloodwing, giving him a piece of skag jerky from the bag Mordecai always kept nearby.

"He's shitting all over this lamp, you know," Lilith commented, sitting down at the creaky chair by the table.

"I know," Mordecai responded listlessly. "Do you really think anyone will notice?"

"Probably not, now that you mention it."

The silence between them was usually comfortable, but this time was different. Lilith shifted in her chair, clinking bottles as she rolled her drink around by the neck. Mordecai knew she was uncomfortable, but couldn't bring himself to care. With the failure of The Voice, he felt deflated as a man, and his longing for the beautiful woman he loved felt like a heavy chain around his neck.

"What's wrong, Mordy?" she finally asked. "Are you tired or something?"

"Yeah," he replied, "Tired to death. And in a towel."

"I'm in a towel too," she reminded him, not like he needed it, and plopped down next to his head to stare into his upside down eyes.

"You can't be tired! I got popcorn!"

"Your popcorn makes me tired."

"Look!" she hopped up and went to her pile of gear, holding up a small plastic covered package like a prize.

He looked despite himself, and sat up. How could she be so deadly in a fight, so quick-witted, and yet so prone to oversight?

"I want you to think about what you're holdin' there. Think real hard."

"Yeah, it's microwave…oh. Oh shit. This place would probably burn down if they tried to plug one in."

"I wouldn't be surprised if the whole fucking planet would burn down."

"That's probably why Marcus looked so pleased with himself for selling it to me."

"Marcus sells snacks?"

"What doesn't Marcus sell?"

"Microwaves."

She reached over to grab a pillow and threw it at him. He deflected it, but Bloodwing screeched in warning.

"S'alright, Blood," Mordecai said soothingly.

Lilith gazed at the packet disconsolately. "Maybe I could shoot it with fire?"

"Speaking of burning the place down."

"I guess I could give it to Tannis, she might make friends with it."

"If her ECHO doesn't get too jealous."

"ECHO Recorder and I have ended our relationship," Lilith quoted.

Mordecai snickered. She did an uncanny impression of the unhinged scientist.

"That's better, damn it. I thought you were gonna be in a mood all night for a while there."

"I was not in a mood."

"Yeah you were. I don't know what it was all about, but you definitely were. Isn't that right, Bloodwing?"

Bloodwing clicked his beak and Mordecai stared at him. Bloodwing didn't respond to anyone but his master. Ever.

"See?" she said triumphantly, "Even the bird agrees."

"So if I'm not allowed to sleep, what do you want to do?"

"My favorite ECHO show is on in two hours, and since you have that big pile over there," Lilith inclined her head toward the table, "I know a great drinking game."

.

Hours later, Mordecai awoke in the dimness of dawn, momentarily confused. Whatever he was laying on was too soft, and whatever that weight on his arm was, it smelled too good. Some god-awful music was playing over the ECHO. His head was spinning as he tried to shake out the fog of sleep.

A bed. He was on a bed. And the heavy thing? That was Lilith. Suddenly fully awake, he remembered what had happened.

_They'd finished the booze while her show was on. They were both stretched out on the bed, still wearing their towels, and during a commercial, Lilith had turned to him, eyes somewhat bleary._

_"You know what I miss?" she yawned, "What I really really miss about home and boyfriends and home, and, you know, boyfriends?"_

_ "What do you really really miss, chica?"_

_"Cuddling. You know, arms around you, sleepin' like a spoon and stuff?" _

_"I do know," he'd replied, leaning toward her._

_"I mean," she continued, sitting up and flailing her arms around mysteriously for emphasis, "it's so nice, you know? And how come it has to be just boyfriends anyway?"_

_"Or girlfriends," he added, trying to keep up._

_"Right? But I never cuddled with a girl. But I know what you mean. But anyway, you know?"_

_"Maybe?"_

_"You're better than a boyfriend is what I mean. So why can't I cuddle with you? I wanna cuddle with you. You're nice. 'Cept when you're bein' a dick. Still think you're better though so how come it's just 'sposed to be the boyfriends?"_

_"I think it's okay, I do. Really. A lot." He held out his arms hopefully, "You can cuddle with me whenever you want, chica."_

_She lay down in the crook of his arm and placed her head on his chest, arm draped around him. Mordecai couldn't breathe. He could smell the soap she'd used, in addition to the light smell that was her own skin._

_"See, this is what I meant. It's nice, you know? 'S not fair being just the boyfriends. Feels s'nice." She yawned again. _

_"Go to sleep, Lil. No more talking, okay?"_

_"Mmhmm."_

_Lilith closed her eyes and snuggled in closer. Her towel shifted and began to loosen. Mordecai tried desperately not to look but the sight drew him helplessly in and he was dying in his mind. He ached to touch her, to pull off that towel and treat her like the goddess she was. Lilith nuzzled him and mumbled something he couldn't understand._

_"What?" his voice was hoarse._

_"I've never…trusted anyone…like…you," she repeated, sleep claiming her even as she spoke. _

_"Shh, mi amada." He whispered, stroking her hair until he too fell asleep._

_._

Mordecai couldn't figure out what he had done to deserve this. Sure, he'd killed lots of people in cold blood, and snuck out on one night stands, and okay, yes, he'd even told one of his first girlfriends that it would grow back. But if this was some kind of cosmic payback it still seemed a bit much.

He carefully began the slow process of easing his arm out from underneath the sleeping siren while trying to ignore his morning erection. The fact that she was completely naked and laying on top of her towel didn't help, and he was lightheaded with the urge to wake her and beg shamelessly for sex. He kept up his task of extricating his arm, and as the last inch was free, Lilith stirred and smiled in her sleep.

He slipped off of the bed using all the stealth he possessed after years of both hunting and escaping from bedrooms, and clutched at his own towel in case she woke up. She didn't, and he covered her gently. No sense in having her embarrassed when she awakened. Bloodwing was still asleep, and Mordecai was appreciative for the small favor. He loved the bird unconditionally, but when the predator was hungry he could be a very insistent creature and his master had more pressing issues to attend to.

Shutting the bathroom door as quietly as possible, he dropped the towel and took his cock in his hand. He clutched at the chipped sink with his free hand, fingertips turning white as he jerked unceremoniously into the sink. It was over in moments and he slumped against the wall, breathing heavily.

_"I'm getting too old for this shit," _he thought, and splashed rust-tinged water around the sink to clean up.

The protesting pipes woke up Bloodwing, who began to screech. Mordecai rolled his eyes but smiled and reclaimed his towel from the floor. As he opened the door, clicking his tongue at his angry friend and heading toward his corner, he noticed that Lilith had a pillow over her head.

"Shh, Blood, shh. Calm down. I'm not gonna let you starve." The bird fixed his master with a stare.

"Uh huh. You don't scare me, y'know. Nice try." He scratched the bird affectionately and held out a strip of dried meat. Bloodwing snapped it up greedily.

"What the fuck is wrong with that bird?" Lilith's irritated voice was muffled by the pillow.

"He doesn't like waking up inside," Mordecai replied, holding up another piece of meat.

"I'd ask why he didn't sleep outside but you'd probably get pissed off at me."

"Probably."

She flung off the pillow, wincing slightly at the light. Looking down at the sheet that covered her, she sighed.

"Fucking Brick. I forgot about that."

"About what?" Mordecai teased.

"You're looking pretty smug, Birdlover. I'm guessing the sheet is courtesy of you?"

"Nah, I'm not that nice. I woulda left it off."

"Ha. Ha. See how impressed I am?" she paused for a moment. "Is there any food?"

"I think there's popcorn."

Lilith threw the pillow back over her head and turned to lay face down. Mordecai laughed, even as he appreciated the round swell of her ass under the sheet.

"I'll see what's up. You know what room they're in?"

"Across the hall," she replied without moving.

Mordecai made sure the towel was secure and opened the door to the poorly lit hallway. Brick was just opening the door directly opposite, heading in.

"Hey, wait up."

"Hey," the huge man replied, wiggling his eyebrows. "Nice outfit, loverboy."

"Is that Mordy?" Roland asked from inside the room, "Get in here!"

Mordecai followed Brick in, and stood with arms crossed against his chest as the two other men sat and stared at him expectantly. Silence stretched out as the hunter refused to volunteer any information.

"Okay, so?" Roland broke the silence.

"So what?" Mordecai glared.

"So did your pipes get a good cleaning?"

"Shut up, Brick." Roland and Mordecai said together.

"Seriously though, did they?" Roland asked.

Mordecai sighed. "Why do you want to know?"

"Oh shit."

"Guess not."

"Sorry, man." Brick said sympathetically.

"So what did you do all night then? Why are you still in a towel?"

"Because I don't have any clothes?"

"Oh, right. I put 'em over there," Roland gestured in their general direction.

"You folded them? And anyway, I thought you were going to do it, Brick. It was your brilliant idea."

"I had other plans," he grinned lasciviously.

"Of course you did. And don't. Just don't even fuckin' tell me, I don't want to hear about it."

"What did you do, towel boy? It couldn't have been that bad."

"The view was pretty good," Mordecai admitted grudgingly.

Roland and Brick whooped and high-fived.

"Shut up, assholes. You've never had balls this fuckin' blue."

"Nope," Brick said smugly.

"Shut up, Brick." The other two chorused.

"Well? Spill it, Skinny. We ain't got all day and you don't get to leave until you talk." Roland rose to stand between the slim hunter and the door.

"Fuck you," Mordecai shook his head before grabbing the armful of clean laundry and trying to edge past Roland to the door.

"What. Did. You. Do?" the beefier man crossed his arms.

"Will you leave me the fuck alone if I tell you?"

"Maybe," Brick said from behind him.

Mordecai nearly snarled with frustration. "We drank all the booze, and then she was all excited about some ECHO show with dragons and shit, and then she started goin' on about how she misses cuddling with her exes and wanted to know how come friends can't cuddle and I don't know what the fuck else and then she's layin' on me and goes to sleep. All right? Can I fuckin' go now?"

"You..cuddled." Roland said flatly. "I'd think you were lying but that's too pathetic to not be true."

Mordecai glared at him.

"Whipped. So whipped."

"Shut up, Brick."

"So what got the bird all worked up this morning? Were you doin' the humpty and makin' the little guy jealous?" Brick said hopefully.

"No, I was skinnin' the weasel in the bathroom before I fed him and he got pissed off. Happy?"

Roland looked pityingly at his friend. "That's got to be the saddest thing I've ever heard. Go get dressed, we'll go shoot the shit out of something today. Make you feel better."

Mordecai pushed past him and out the door. He opened the door across the hall to find Lilith sitting with her elbows on the table, tugging at a strip of dried meat with her teeth.

"Are you eating Bloodwing's food?"

"Don't even start with me. I've got a hell of a headache and I'm starving. How was I supposed to know it was going to be this tough?"

Mordecai tried not to laugh and tossed the clothes on the bed. As he bent to rummage through his equipment, Lilith continued talking as she attempted to rip through the tough jerky.

"What were you boys laughing at over there?"

"Brick had a date and he was gloating about it. Typical shit."

He stood with a small green packet in his hand and held it out to Lilith.

"Can Blood have his meat back now?"

Lilith took the packet and read the label out loud. "'Dahl Corporation Ever Fresh Technology Authentic Pasta Style Meal'? What the hell is this and why didn't you tell me you had it?"

"You looked so comfortable under your pillow I figured you could wait."

"Dick." She said, and ripped into the package. She stared at it dubiously for a couple of seconds before slurping at it.

Mordecai turned to the wall and dropped his towel so that he could don his pants.

"Not bad," Lilith remarked between slurps of Pasta Style Meal. "You actually have a pretty nice ass."

"So I've been told," he replied, attempting The Voice again.

"And so modest, too."

She set the now-empty packet on the table and reached for her own clothes. Mordecai heard her towel drop and decided to ignore it, concentrating on putting on his various pieces of gear. A few minutes passed in reasonably comfortable silence as the two vault hunters prepared for another day of work.

"Come on, Blood, let's go." He said, holding out his arm for the bird.

"Mordecai-" Lilith hesitated and looked away when he turned to her.

"What, Lil?" he said with a gentleness uncharacteristic of their usual banter.

"About last night." She was staring at the floor. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have been on you like that. I don't want things to get awkward. I've never had a friend like you and I hope I didn't screw that up by making you, you know, humor me or whatever."

"Don't worry about it," Mordecai replied, wishing she would look up at him so he could see her face.

He stood behind her, rubbing her shoulder and smiling bitterly. Managing to keep the disappointment out of his voice, he reassured her. "We all get lonely sometimes."


	3. Chapter 3

A/N: Shorter chapter this time, but it marks an important transitional period...ooh, what does that mean? Hell if I know. Read on!

To my reviewers- thanks a bunch! You have no idea how much you've made me smile. I can't believe I'm entertaining anyone other than myself!

* * *

The vault hunters killed their way through Rust Commons and the Middle of Nowhere, an aptly named place that offered little to do but some scavenging and using bullets to forcibly discourage a bandit cult. It seemed to Mordecai that Lilith grew more beautiful by the day, becoming more and more deadly with every kill.

Since the morning after their hotel stay New Haven, they hadn't spoken of the way they'd spent the night, which was more or less fine with Mordecai. He didn't want to think about it. It was better, or at least easier, to pretend that it had never happened.

Lilith wasn't making that attitude easy to maintain. Since that morning she had become less and less inhibited with her friend, and soon thought nothing of sitting close enough to touch at mealtimes, or delivering massages to his tired shoulders after a long day. After one pitying look too many from the other men, Mordecai took to spending much of his free time at Durden's circle of slaughter.

He could immerse himself in the killing there, becoming a creature composed of adrenaline and bloodlust. Bloodwing seemed to nearly read his thoughts now and was soon shredding multiple foes at a time, showers of blood and anguished screaming often the surest sign that the bird had attacked and moved on. Mordecai's pistols seemed an extension of his hand as his already exceptional aim and speed improved even more. He would fight until he was exhausted and Bloodwing refused to follow him, sometimes resorting to nipping or mock attacking his master.

Occasionally one of his fellow vault hunters would watch or take rounds of their own, but Mordecai always fought alone. All his frustration, his unresolved emotions, and his helpless longing disappeared when he fought in the circle. Every bandit was a chance for a perfect headshot and he spent hours pushing himself harder and harder, always with the goal to kill more, to kill faster, to spill more blood and emerge victorious once again.

He barely slept and hardly ate but sought the killing like a drug. He was vicious on missions with the others, sniping and laughing, enough to chill even Lilith. Roland finally confronted his friend when Mordecai was rushed to Zed's, bleeding profusely from a psycho's buzz axe to his chest and barely alive.

"What the fuck are you doing, man?" Roland demanded as Zed patched him up and performed various actions with a variety of scary needles.

"Bleeding, the fuck does it look like?"

"You know what I mean. You're gonna get yourself killed and we need you as part of the team."

"Part of the team," he repeated bitterly. "That's all I am."

Roland knew he was referring to Lilith. "Is she really worth this? Angel says-"

"I don't give a shit what Angel says, damn it. And don't you ever tell me she isn't worth it."

"Calm down, kid," Zed interrupted. "Yer makin' me stitch all funny."

"Then man the fuck up and do something about it. If we're not all working together, someone is going to get killed. The vagina monster was cake, but we're going after the Crimson Lance soon, and I'm here to tell you, those guys do not fuck around. They're organized, they're well equipped, and you can be damn sure they have the discipline not to spend half their time in battle mooning over a girl who doesn't have a fucking clue."

Roland stormed out of the "doctor's" building, and Mordecai stared after him, stung.

"He's prolly right'cha know." Zed remarked casually, finishing off his line of stitches.

"I dunno what's goin' on, but from what I hear the Lance can put some serious hurt on a body." He paused and made a knot, reaching for his scissors. "And can ya do somethin' about that bird? It's shittin' all over m'table."

.

Mordecai left Zed and ducked into Marcus's store. He had a purchase to make, and he hoped the special order would arrive in time.

When he caught up with the rest of the group a few minutes later, Roland refused to look at him. Lilith rushed over to him, hugging him as tightly as she could without hurting him further.

"Don't do that, damn it!" she smacked him on the opposite shoulder.

"What, stop an axe with my body?"

"Yeah, that. Jackass. I thought you were gonna die."

Mordecai shook his head and returned the hug with one arm. "Nah. I never die."

.

That night brought a dim cycle, and he left the camp in the middle of the night, a bottle of rakk ale in his hand and Bloodwing on his shoulder. He drank as he walked, occasionally reaching up to scritch Bloodwing. It had been a while since he'd done this, walked out into the night with Blood for company. Pandora's rarely seen moon shone over the landscape, providing light and an otherworldly glow to the sandy dirt and trash piles.

His footfalls were nearly silent, and he skirted by groups of scythids and spiderants with ease. He knew the area well and was able to avoid bandit encampments almost without thought realizing it. He sat down on a hilltop next to some bladeflowers, knees drawn up close to his chest with arms and head resting on them, deep in thought. Roland was right. This had gone on far too long. He was tired, and the stitches in his chest ached. Bloodwing chittered and Mordecai sent him off to hunt with a long-established hand gesture.

In a business where any of them could die any day, what point was there in waiting patiently, agonizing over decisions that his heart had already made? The worst she could do was reject him, and was that really worse than living like this? He knew he would never stop protecting her as long as he lived. He knew he would always be there for her. If she couldn't love him, did it really matter in the end?

Bloodwing drifted back to his master on dark wings that almost absorbed the moon's glow. His beak and talons shone with the blood of his kill and he lit gently on his master's shoulder.

"Good boy," Mordecai murmured. "You'll always come back to me, won't you?"

He looked down, noticing the bladeflowers. They weren't the prettiest things he had ever seen, but even that seemed right somehow. They were a bright spot in a bland world, beautiful in their rarity. Like love in a killer's life. He gently picked a small bunch, careful not to shake the edible seeds out of the tiny flowers.

He began the walk back to their camp. Tomorrow he wouldn't go to the circle. Tomorrow he would be a member of the group again instead of a bloodthirsty semi-liability and maybe, if lady luck favored him, his life would change.

As he came closer to the camp, he poured water from his hip flask into the now empty bottle of rakk ale. He gently slipped the stems of the flowers he was carrying into the neck of the bottle and placed it next to Lilith so that she would see it when she woke up.

Bloodwing flew to his perch and settled in to roost as his master lay on his bedroll, staring up at the stars and the bright Pandoran moon until sleep closed his eyes.

.

Mordecai woke with the dawn and though he hadn't gotten much sleep he felt more refreshed than he had in weeks. Lilith was still asleep, Roland was nowhere to be seen, and Brick was staring at a cup of instant coffee as if willing it to warm on its own.

"I don't think that's the way water boils, Beefcake." He squatted next to the berserker and looked at him quizzically. "Out of matches?"

"Mmhmm," he replied sadly.

"There's still enough in the fire from last night to burn, didja think about shootin' it?"

"I'm not packin' any fire, just explosive. And besides," he inclined his head toward the sleeping siren.

"It'll be good for her." He pulled a revolver and shot the pile of long-burning skag droppings.

Lilith bolted straight upright, eyes wide and a gun already in her hand. She barely missed the bottle of flowers and it took her a moment to register the slim hunter laughing uproariously at her.

"You goddamn asshole, Mordecai! What the fuck is wrong with you?!" she shrieked.

"Nothin's wrong with me, chica, but you look like somethin' disturbed your beauty sleep." He snorted.

"I'm going to pay you back, Birdboy. That's a promise."

"Bring it, little girl." He smirked and began walking away from the camp.

"Where do you think you're going, damn it? I'm not done yelling at you!"

"If I don't piss I'm gonna explode, so can it wait a couple of minutes?"

"Asshole."

"You know you love it."

He walked a small way from the camp, finding a large rock to both afford some privacy and to urinate on. He was just finishing up when a ball of lightning exploded behind him with an ominous crackling noise and pinged his shield.

"Shit!" he yelled, turning and pulling his revolver in one motion.

Lilith stood in front of him, cackling. "And that's what happens when you're a bitch, Mordy."

He put the gun away and turned to stuff himself back in his pants. Lilith was still laughing behind him.

"Thanks for not shooting me, by the way." She said.

Mordecai said nothing, pretending to sulk just to see how she would react.

"Oh, come on. It was a fair payback."

He remained silent.

"You're welcome for not shooting you when you pulled that stunt on me," she continued.

Mordecai started walking back to the camp. Lilith stood where she was.

"Come on, it was funny."

"It _was _pretty funny seeing you jump awake like that," he turned back to her and grinned.

"You dick! I thought you were pissed at me!"

"I probably deserved it," he admitted grudgingly.

"You did." She caught up with him and touched him on the arm, changing her tone. "Thanks for the flowers this morning. They're beautiful."

"Not as beautiful as you deserve," he replied, employing The Voice.

Lilith looked taken aback, and blushed. Not for the first time, he was grateful for the special lenses in his goggles that enhanced the colors he was otherwise incapable of distinguishing. Missing a sight like that would have been a shame.

"I, um, thank you." She mumbled and smiled self-consciously.

Inside his head, Mordecai was screaming to the heavens in triumph. "_The Voice is BACK!_" he rejoiced silently.

"C'mon, chica. Let's go kill something." He said, and led the way. Today was going to be a good day.


	4. Chapter 4

A/N: Are you ready to get smooshy? 'Cause it's getting smooshy up in here! Only a little. I had to throw the poor guy a bone, he was certainly pitching enough of them.

Thanks for the lovely comments! They make my day. :)

* * *

Roland and Brick could tell there was a change in the air between the other two vault hunters. Mordecai was more aggressively solicitous, and Lilith was suddenly almost shy around him, a sight neither of the burly men thought they'd ever see.

"Do you think they finally fucked?" Roland wondered to Brick as they climbed into a runner later that day, off to see what Tannis required of them.

"Nah, not yet," the berserker replied thoughtfully, looking back at the pair. As usual they were arguing over who was the better gunner and who should drive, but there was a subtle change to their body language.

"But they will." Brick turned back to the soldier. "I dunno what you said to him yesterday, but it looks like it worked."

.

"How many did you get?" Lilith asked, walking in step with Mordecai out of the depths of Earl's scrapyard. The cantankerous old man had paid them to clean his yard of bandits once again.

"Dunno. Twenty? Thirty? I wasn't payin' attention. You?"

"At least forty," she grinned. "They were pretty flammable."

"Forty? Man, I gotta change guns."

"Why, worried you can't keep up with me?" she teased.

"I know I can. I can keep up just fine."

Lilith fell silent, blushing again. Mordecai smirked.

"You have a dirty mind, Lil."

"I don't know what you're talking about," she protested.

"Uh huh."

"Shut up."

Neither of them said anything as they approached Earl's shack. Mordecai's ECHO crackled to life and Marcus came on the line.

"Hey, Vault Hunter. Your order came in."

"Already?" Mordecai held a hand up to his ear to indicate he was receiving a transmission and Lilith nodded, heading over to the old man to claim their bounty.

"A shipment was already coming in, so they added it. Good service when you shop from me." The weapons dealer bragged.

"Yeah." Mordecai rolled his eyes. "Did they follow my special instructions?"

"What, you talking in code? Yeah, they wrapped it up. Real nice. Looks expensive. Of course, it _is_ expensive," he laughed, probably thinking of his percentage.

"Yeah. I'll be there later." He broke the connection.

"Who was that?" Lilith asked, holding out his portion of the money.

"Nobody important. You mind goin' back alone? I've got some business in New Haven."

"Sure, go for it. Is it just me, or are you being mysterious?"

"I'm always mysterious. It's part'a my charm."

"You keep telling yourself that, Scruffy. It might even come true someday, if you wish hard enough."

"Whadda you think, Blood? Am I a handsome, mysterious man?"

Bloodwing chittered, which came as no surprise to Mordecai as he had trained the bird to respond to this and a few other similar statements many years ago.

"Handsome, too? The ego on you, Mordy. I'm surprised that poor bird can stand you."

"He's got taste, is all." He reached up and stroked the bird's feathers.

"Yeah, he's got taste all right. I'm pretty sure I saw him eating rotting eyeballs the other day."

"Got a lot of nutrients, eyeballs. All kinds of balls, really."

Lilith made a noise of amused disgust. Mordecai laughed and activated the fast travel station.

"See ya later, Lil," he said, and disappeared in a flash of purple light.

.

He strolled into Marcus' store, greeting the arms dealer civilly enough. The man got on his nerves, but it was best not to antagonize him lest he raise prices even higher.

"Well well, if it isn't the big spender."

Mordecai closed his eyes for a moment before responding. "So have you got it?"

"You're one of my best customers, vault hunter. Would I lie?"

"_Probably, if there was profit in it,_" Mordecai thought.

"So…?" he said out loud.

"Patience isn't a virtue of yours, eh? Here you go, my friend. Hope you like it, but remember,"

"Yeah, yeah. No refunds. I know the drill."

Marcus reached under the counter and slid a small package across to the hunter. It was wrapped in matte black paper with the Maliwan company's logo printed in mirror-like silver across the lower half of the top. A silver ribbon with a line of black running through the center tied across the center to form an elegantly understated bow. Mordecai reached for it.

"Ah, ah, ah," Marcus singsonged and put a large hand on the box. "First, the rest of the cash."

"Fine." He reached into his pack and extracted several thousand dollars to hand to the eager merchant.

"Wonderful, wonderful." He said, counting the stack of bills and releasing the box. "Happy to do business with you any time."

Mordecai took the box and carefully stowed it away. He nodded at Marcus and strode out of the shop, heading for Scooter's. A frisson of nervous excitement ran through him. For better or worse, it was going to happen tonight. He was going to tell her.

.

He drove up to the camp to find Lilith alone, sitting on a rock and reading a book. Perfect. He parked and she looked up at him, nodding acknowledgement before sticking her nose back in the book. Bloodwing chattered for permission to hunt, and his master dismissed him with a scritch and a signal.

"Hey, Lil." He said, sitting next to the rock and against the side of her leg.

"Hey," she responded distantly, still reading.

"What'cha readin'?"

"A book, genius."

"You don't say." He looked up at her.

"Aren't you going to go to the circle and try to get yourself killed or something?" she looked down at him.

"Nah. Not today. I'd rather be with you."

"With me?" Lilith said incredulously, putting her thumb in the book to mark her place. "What did I do to deserve _that_?"

"I just don't want you to finish your book too fast."

"Ah, so you're doing me a favor, is that it? Very altruistic."

"You know me, chica. Always thinkin' of other people."

She laughed, nudging him in the shoulder with her leg. He hissed in sudden pain.

"Shit, oh shit. I forgot about your stitches," Lilith slid off the rock to kneel next to him, book forgotten as she put her hand on his good shoulder and took his hand without thinking.

"Maybe I should play with axes more often," he teased, lips quirking upward.

Blushing for what had to be the thousandth time that day, Lilith started to pull away. Mordecai held her hand firmly and reached up to take the other. Her hands were so soft and small inside of his. Even the leather of her partial gloves was soft.

"You're blushin' an awful lot lately, chica," he drawled with The Voice. "Somethin' on your mind?"

"Yeah. I thought you were colorblind." She retorted weakly.

"Only red and green, didja think the goggles were for style? More importantly…didja think I didn't notice?"

"What, my sunburn?"

He chuckled. "Yeah, your sunburn that comes and goes. In fact, I wonder if I could give you a little sunburn doing this," he released one of her hands so that he could touch her cheek, softly stroking it with his fingertips.

"Mordecai," she whispered.

"Mmhmm?"

"Can I see your face? Your eyes?"

"You've seen me plenty of times, what's so important now?" he slowly slid his fingers down her neck. She stopped his hand with hers.

"I want to know if you're making fun of me. I can't tell with that thing on."

"I would never do that to you. Ever." His voice changed from seductive to shocked.

"Please, then?"

He squeezed the hand that he was still holding and released it so he could fiddle with the back of his hooded mask and goggles. Fifteen seconds later he was peeling it off and blinking in the strong light. He placed it on the rock behind them on top of Lilith's book.

"Can I hold your hands again?"

She reached out, looking into his eyes as he took her hands in his once again.

"Why would you think I'd make fun of you, Lil?"

"It's happened before, okay? I don't want to talk about it."

"You started it," he pointed out. Concern was written all over his face.

"I shouldn't have."

"You, uh, you _have_ had boyfriends, right? You've talked about 'em."

She laughed. "Are you asking me if I'm a virgin? No such luck, Scruffy."

He looked at her pointedly.

"Fine. I'm awkward, I know. They were all dicks, if you must know. Some of them just wanted sex, and I did too so I didn't care. A couple of them," she paused and looked away. Mordecai squeezed her hands and waited for her to speak, rubbing a thumb across her palm.

"A couple of them I really cared about. I found out I was just a trophy to one, and the other," she looked back at him and gave a small, sad smile. "The other was my first, and I'd had a crush on him since grade school. He lost a bet and had to fuck the freak girl. So maybe I have trust issues. And maybe I care about you."

"C'mere, Lil."

Mordecai released her hands and held out his arm for her to lay against. She looked at him for a second or two before making up her mind and sitting against him. He held her gently and she snuggled in closer. He took her hand again.

"D'you know how long I've loved you?" he said quietly, brushing against her hair with his lips.

"Love me?" she repeated.

"Yeah, love you. Seems like everyone knows but you, chica."

She twisted slightly to look up at him. He let everything he felt for her show on his face. Now was not the time to have any guards up, and all he wanted to do was take her pain away.

"I hoped. Sometimes I thought maybe. You're such a sarcastic bastard though, I couldn't tell. You're my best friend. I didn't want to make a move because-"

He interrupted. "Because you didn't want to ruin things. Me too. I realized last night that I had to take a chance."

"Also, Roland yelled at you."

"Shit, did the whole damn town hear?"

"No," she laughed, "Brick told me that Roland had a bone to pick with you, but not what. I tried to get him to wait until you were at least done bleeding, but you know him."

Mordecai grumbled something about assholes not minding their own business and Lilith laughed again, raising their hands to kiss his. He fought against the urge to pull her onto his lap.

"I'm glad he did. I didn't know how to tell you that I love you, too."

This time, the sniper did pull the siren onto his lap, ignoring the pain from his stitches. She put her arms around his neck and their lips met for the first time. A rush of pleasure swept over him as he felt the softness of her beautiful lips, and tasted her. Their tongues got acquainted with each other and she buried her hand into his dreadlocked hair.

His hand slipped down to her hips, caressing her exposed midriff. She gasped at the contact, goosebumps breaking out over her skin despite the heat of the day. He smiled even as they kissed, and she broke off to mock glare at him.

"Cocky bastard. Next thing I know you'll be feeling me up, is that it?"

He laughed his deep, throaty laugh and noticed for the first time that the sound made her breath catch. Good to know.

"Are you askin' me to stop?" he smiled, eyes dancing.

"I really wish you wouldn't," she said, and straddled him.

He made a noise somewhere between a moan and a needy mewl. "Don't, Lil. Please."

"What? Did I hurt you?" she scrambled off.

His eyes were squeezed shut.

"Mordecai?"

"I can't believe I'm sayin' this," he sighed, "You have any idea how shitty it is to live with blue balls all the time?"

"I promise that won't be a problem," Lilith nearly purred into his ear.

"Damn it. Don't, okay?"

"Why the fuck not?" she pulled away and demanded.

He opened his eyes and looked at her. "At the risk of soundin' really fuckin' sentimental, I want it to be better than this."

"Better than what? This is fine. Seriously. Sand is awesome. I love sand. And look, a rock! Rocks are sexy, Mordy, come on."

He snorted. "Nice to know you're into it, chica. I'm serious, though. I wanna give you everything you deserve, not a quick fuck with sand up our assholes. And these fuckin' stitches are gonna hamper my technique."

"Yeah…don't care. Very sweet and all, but how often do we get time alone when we aren't working?"

"We'll make time. It'll be worth it."

"This is an ego thing, isn't it, Scruffy?"

"No," he feigned hurt, "definitely, maybe, at least forty percent _not_ an ego thing."

"Good to know you care."

"I do." He touched her cheek.

"Fine." She sat next to him, legs crossed. "So now what, do I go back to reading and try to pretend this didn't happen?"

"Actually, I have somethin' for you. Ordered it yesterday and it's already in."

"You got me a present? What for?"

"I wanted to, and you need it."

"Is it a microwave?"

"Do you still have that popcorn?" he was amused.

"There's got to be a way to cook that shit on this planet. I refuse to give up."

"Maybe that's what's in the vault. Loot, riches, and a cafeteria."

"That's what I dream of every night."

"Not me?"

"Got to work on that ego problem, Mordy. It's threatening to get bigger than you."

"Don't knock it 'til you've tried it."

"Need I remind you that I'd be trying it right now if you'd let me have my way?"

"Nope."

He reached into his pack and pulled out the wrapped box. Lilith took it, a puzzled look on her face.

"What's this? From Maliwan? Wait, Maliwan gift wraps?"

"For a modest fee. Or so Marcus claims. He prob'ly just pocketed it."

"I'm scared to open it."

"It won't bite. You know how you were sayin' you didn't have any corrosive worth a shit?"

Her eyes widened. "You didn't."

"Find out."

She carefully removed the ribbon and paper, hands shaking. Under the paper was a box, white with the Maliwan label emblazoned in black. A small white card fell out of the wrappings. She took it in her hand and read aloud.

"'Congratulations Customer, on your new ownership of Maliwan's top of the line RX300 series Pestilent Defiler-'" she nearly dropped the card and box. "Mordecai, holy fuck! I mean, holy fuck! What the..holy fuck!"

"Read the rest," he laughed at her. "I take it you approve?"

"Holy fuck," she repeated helplessly, and continued to read. "Our company applauds your commitment to murder with elegance, and looks forward to serving you in the future.' Uh, at the bottom it says, 'Note from Purchasing Customer: I always want to protect you, but I know you can take care of yourself. Think of me when you're melting faces off. All my love, Mordecai"

She began to cry, clutching the box and burying her face on the uninjured side of his chest. He kissed the top of her head, grinning.

"Shh, Lil, shh. You haven't even opened the box yet, come on. I'm dyin' to see it."

"Th- thank you." She sniffed. "I don't know what to say. Holy fuck. Thank you."

"You're welcome. C'mon, open it!"

She carefully lifted the lid of the box. The inside was lined in black velvet and the revolver sat nestled inside a perfectly shaped indentation. Blue metal gleamed in the bright sun and the green accents indicative of the weapon's corrosive nature glowed with their own light. Inscribed on the barrel in elegant script were the words "Give sick". She stroked it, awestruck.

"Is that a 3.7 scope?" she finally managed.

"4.2," he replied.

"Holy fuck." They said together.

"Ass." Lilith laughed.

Roland's voice crackled over their ECHOs. "Just got done talking to Tannis. Hold onto your shorts kids, we're going up against the Lance tomorrow. Oh, and me and Brick are picking up a couple buckets of fried rakk, so don't eat."

"Guess you'll get to use that thing tomorrow, huh?"

"Hell yeah! I can't wait." She smiled wickedly, imagining the carnage.

"You are so beautiful when you're bloodthirsty," Mordecai said, reaching for her.

"You're not so bad yourself, Scruffy." She kissed him.

.

The new couple were still in each other's arms when Brick and Roland's runner came streaking into view. They separated and stood with a final kiss and tried to look innocent as their friends drew closer.

"Did I just see what I thought I saw?" Brick bellowed.

"I saw it too!" Roland yelled back.

"About god damn time!" Brick shouted as Roland parked with a flashy skid.

Mordecai took Lilith's hand and she looked up at him with a smile.

"Got that right," he murmured so that only Lilith could hear.

.

* * *

I worked in my favorite gun, and I am very pleased with myself. :) I may or may not have it tattooed on my actual body (with Lilith holding it, natch). That is how much I love this gun. Love it.


	5. Chapter 5

A/N: Well, that was way longer than I wanted to go between updates, sorry about that. Blame family drama that ensued from dealing with the in-laws, and allow me to give some advice- always, ALWAYS try to stay on the good side of your significant other's family. Seriously.

With that said, this chapter was both hard (heh heh) and fun to write. I don't know why Roland uses the word "cute". Actually I do. Because reasons. Does anyone else have trouble remembering exactly what the plot progression is in BL1? I do. I've beat it something like 8 times and I never remember what the hell is going on, I'm busy shooting shit. Also looting. And shipping. Somewhere after Krom I just forget what's revealed when. So I'm playing it yet again, and taking notes. JUST FOR YOU. *cough*

Right. No more talking. Enjoy the (spoiler!) sexytimes.

* * *

Mordecai picked at the fried rakk with a dubious look. He wasn't really a fan of food at the best of times, but this was greasy. And slimy. And, well, rakk. Even Bloodwing didn't seem interested, and the bird wasn't usually one to pass up anything made of meat.

Lilith had sniffed at it skeptically before digging in, but had only eaten a piece or two before scooting off of the rock she shared with the hunter and sitting between his legs, head against his knee. Mordecai finally gave up in disgust and tossed the piece behind him, wiping greasy fingers on the rock. It didn't help much, but he sure as hell wasn't going to use his pants and _smell_ like that crap.

Brick and Roland had already gone through two buckets and were working on the third and final one. The other two vault hunters stared at them with a nearly identical look of disgust and disbelief on their faces. Brick finally noticed as he paused his feasting for a hearty belch.

"What?" he asked.

"Nothin', Beefcake. You uh, enjoyin' yourself?"

"Yeah…" the berserker said slowly, reaching for another piece.

"I think they're judgin' us, Brick." Roland said through a mouthful of rakk.

"Oh no, not us. We would never." Lilith said unconvincingly, squeezing Mordecai's leg as she fought laughter.

"You're too picky. Me, I see this spread of food that I didn't have to kill, and I didn't have to prep, and all I can think is, 'It's like Christmas!'. You two on the other hand, nothin's ever good enough to shove in your mouths."

"I can think of something I'd like to shove in my mouth," Lilith said with a wicked smile, and looked up at the hunter. Positioned as she was between his legs, her meaning could not have been any more clear.

Brick coughed, trying not to choke. Roland reached over and slapped him on the back with a greasy hand. A chunk of partially chewed skin shot out of the beefy man's mouth, and he dropped his half-eaten piece of rakk on the ground. He looked at it sadly.

"Get a room, you two," Roland said evenly.

"Or let us watch," Brick added.

"We leave them alone just one day too many, and everything goes to hell," Roland shook his head.

"After this long, I ain't blamin' us," Brick responded philosophically, eyeing the mostly empty bucket.

"That's true. We didn't know Skinny here was finally gonna grow a pair."

"All right, all right," Mordecai interrupted. "You two assholes laugh all you want."

"We ain't done yet," Brick pointed out.

"He's right," Roland agreed.

Lilith laughed. "You boys enjoy your, er, dinner, and we'll leave you to it, all right? Come on Mordy. Let's go for a walk."

She stood and took his hand. The look in her eyes was not to be ignored and he joined her more than willingly.

"Come on, Bloodwing," he said, holding his arm out for the bird.

"They gonna have a threesome with that bird?" Brick wondered aloud.

Roland snickered, then suddenly turned serious.

"Hey, guys. I know you're havin' fun and all but don't be back too late, okay?"

"Sure thing, Mom," Lilith rolled her eyes.

"I'm serious, Lily. We all need to be on our toes tomorrow. We're so close to the vault now, we can't start makin' mistakes here."

"You don't have to worry about us. We'll be back by curfew."

Mordecai snagged his mask and goggles from the rock where he'd left them hours earlier as he walked hand in hand with the woman he loved and talons to shoulder with the bird who meant the world to him.

.

"They're cute, you know?" Roland commented.

"I guess." Brick chewed on a bone.

"You ever get lonely out here?"

"Yeah."

Roland looked at his friend in surprise.

"I miss my dog."

.

They had walked until the other two were out of sight, not saying anything. Not needing to. Mordecai kept an eye out for danger, happy just to be with Lilith, reveling in the fact that he didn't need to hide his feelings anymore. Lilith pointed off to their left with a tattooed hand and he followed the direction of her finger.

It was the pumping station they had cleared of bandits just a few days earlier. He remembered laying on the hill above, taking shot after shot with his favorite rifle, listening to Lilith's pleased laugh ring out like a bell above the screaming and gunfire.

"Still looks deserted," he said.

"I thought it would be," she answered. "Come on, let's go."

Almost in tandem, they both pulled revolvers, though neither expected to surprise an enemy. She scouted ahead, leaving the sniper to do what he did best. He watched her for a few moments, then took up his duty of surveying the situation from afar.

Lilith banged around, taunting any possible bandits and opening doors. After climbing two flights of rusty metal stairs and opening the doors of every small building that the bandits had taken over as shacks, she stood at the top landing and shrugged.

"Come on up," she called down.

Mordecai started walking, putting away his gun and wondering what the woman had in mind. The sun caught her hair in what was probably a brilliant display of red, but which appeared as a particularly shiny brown to the hunter. He considered putting on the colored goggles he had pocketed, but decided against it. She would just make him take them back off, he hoped.

As he reached the top landing, Lilith grabbed him and shoved him against the tin wall of the shack, kissing him hungrily. Bloodwing shrieked indignantly and perched on the roof, staring balefully. Lilith melted into her catch, pressing every inch of her body against his lean frame, effectively pinning him. After what seemed like an age of nothing but each other, Lilith finally released him for breath.

"Hi," she said. "You took too long."

"I'd say I was sorry, but after that it would be kinda hard."

"More than kinda, unless there's something in your pocket I should know about."

Before he could think of a suitable retort, she pushed open the door of the shack and sauntered inside. Mordecai followed, noting the small window that allowed some light in, and the dirty floor littered with bits of food and who-knew-what. She pointed to a crate that was shoved up against the wall in the corner, opposite of the window.

"Sit."

"Very bossy, Lil. What if I don't wanna?"

"You do, but if following directions every once in a while undermines your manliness or whatever…" she trailed off teasingly.

"I s'pose. If it'll make you happy." He sat.

"Good!" she clapped her hands together. "Now unzip."

"I thought we-"

"You said _your_ technique was hampered. Mine's just fine, thanks."

Realization dawned on the hunter, though somewhat belatedly. He attributed it to the lack of bloodflow to his brain.

"Oh. Oh! But, y'know, what about you?"

"I can take care of myself, but that's very chivalrous."

Mordecai managed to get even harder, and dimly wondered why Lilith was staring at him so expectantly.

"Zipper?"

"Right. Zipper."

She laughed, enjoying her effect on the man.

"Fuck, Mordy. You act like you've never gotten a blowjob before."

"It's kinda been a while. How long have we been on this planet? And I've spent a lot a time thinkin' about it. Cut me some slack, alright?"

He unzipped and freed himself, pulling his pants down. Lilith was looking at him with an expression not unlike Bloodwing's when faced with a particularly bloody morsel. She peeled off her gloves and kneeled in front of him, taking his cock in her hand, feeling the softness of his foreskin.

Mordecai sucked in a breath and she looked up him, eyes intense.

"I've been wanting to do this since that first day on the bus." She said, and ran her tongue up his shaft.

Mordecai gripped the edge of the crate he was sitting on. His eyes shut halfway as he let out a groan, watching Lilith lick her way up his cock as if it were the most delicious thing she'd ever tasted. She snaked her left hand up the inside of his leg, trailing her fingers lightly on his skin before lightly cupping his balls. She didn't stop her leisurely rhythm of licking, but swirled her tongue around his head, looking up to gauge his reaction.

"So how do you like it done, Scruffy? Any requests?" her right hand gripped him and slowly moved as she spoke. Her lips were close to the tip of his dick, her breath cooling the saliva there.

"Uhhhh, I think, uh, y'know, um, lady's choice?" he mumbled and stroked her hair.

"I can work with that," she smiled and took him into her mouth.

Mordecai moaned at the sudden entrance of his cock into that perfectly shaped mouth he'd so far only kissed. She responded in kind, causing a vibration that enhanced the suction she was performing in a way that shut down all thought.

She bobbed her head slowly, tongue working some sort of magic he couldn't even properly identify, at least not with any level of coherence. Her breathing quickened and the hand that was still stroking him twisted a little on its path up and down.

"Oh, Lil," he called softly, tone almost impossibly low, The Voice involuntary and uncontrolled.

Lilith moaned around him again and looked into his face, golden eyes blazing with lust. Her hands abandoned him and she took nearly all of his dick in her mouth, increasing the pace. His eyes closed and he was oblivious to everything but her tongue, the suction, and the steady build of pleasure that filled his body with an electric tingle.

There was a snap of buckles, a clink, and a zipper being pulled down. Mordecai opened his eyes and looked down at her, but couldn't see what she was doing. She grabbed his knee for support as she continued to work his cock, and when she began touching herself he could see the motion of her arm reflected in her breasts, which were an agreeable substitute for the view that they blocked.

The noises she was making were more than he had imagined even through the months of wanting her, dreaming of her. His hips began moving of their own volition, thrusting into her mouth even as she sucked him harder, moved her head faster. Her fingernails dug into his knee and they panted together, the occasional wet slosh around his dick and the enticing small noises produced by Lilith's hand serving as backdrop to Mordecai's long, low cries and the siren's increasingly ardent ones.

"I'm..gonna…" Mordecai gasped.

Lilith's fingers tightened around his knee in reply and she looked up at him again. His cock twitched in her mouth and he came hard, groaning loudly when she swallowed around him, licking to be sure she had every drop.

"Fuck, Lilith," he whispered, slumping backwards against the hot metal wall of the shack.

It took him a few foggy moments to realize that she was still on her knees, head resting on his thigh as her hand worked busily underneath the elastic band of her panties. He was about to do his best to formulate a suave offer of assistance when she reached her own orgasm with a cry that would have given him a raging erection had his dick not just gotten its best workout in months- hell, years.

He chuckled and she looked up at him with a satisfied smile, pulling her hand out of her pants. He caught it and brought it to his mouth, cleaning the juices off of her fingers with teasing flicks of his tongue. Lilith shivered with pleasure, bringing the hand that had been grasping his knee up to his chest, where it rested until she'd caught her breath sufficiently to join the hunter on his crate.

Mordecai put his arm around her and kissed her deeply, tasting himself on her tongue. When the kiss ended she sighed contentedly and rested her head against his chest. He brought his free arm around to caress down her neck and chest, dipping under her camisole to cup her breast.

"Stupid bra." He muttered.

"I know. And it isn't even one of my pretty ones."

"When do I get to see one of those?" he asked with interest.

She shrugged. "When I'm reasonably sure it'll stay clean and won't just piss me off? It's granny bra territory out here in skagland."

"I might have to reconsider my views on grannies if they're hiding tits like yours, chica."

"Cute." She rolled her eyes and slapped halfheartedly at his wandering hand.

"Have you really wanted to do this since the bus?" he asked abruptly.

"What, give you a blowjob? Yeah."

"Why?"

"Nosy. What would you say if I told you I saw a handsome, mysterious man and thought it would be fun?"

"That's pretty hot, actually."

"And true. Don't go getting any stupid "love at first sight" thoughts, either. I just wanted your dick."

"I'm not complaining, chica. Trust me."

Lilith snorted. "So now what?"

"What d'ya mean?"

"I dunno. Today has been kind of, I don't know. Surreal. Is this the new normal for us?"

"All of it?" he said archly.

"Give a man an inch…" Lilith trailed off teasingly.

"Ouch."

"The famous ego has a weakness!" she crowed. "Don't worry, Scruffy. I'm suitably impressed."

He kissed her on the forehead and moved to stand. Lilith leaned against the wall and pulled one of her legs up, holding her knee and watching him zip up.

"What're you doing?"

"I've gotta check on Blood, okay?"

"Seriously?"

"It's hot out there, and I know he hasn't moved. You kinda scared him, he's keepin' an eye out for me."

"You and that bird."

"He and I go back a long way," Mordecai started defensively.

"I was kidding, Mordy. You're a team. Anyone can see what you mean to each other, it's cute. Even when he's all gory."

"You're one of a kind, Lil."

"And don't you forget it."

Mordecai opened the tin door with a rusty squeak. He didn't even remember who had closed it. As he looked up on the roof to find his friend, Lilith followed him out to lean against the landing's railing and survey the uninspiring landscape.

Bloodwing chittered angrily before hopping down to perch on his master's shoulder.

"Hey, hey, boy. It's okay. Everything's good."

Lilith turned from the dismal view and looked at the bird.

"Sorry, Bloodwing. Friends?"

The alien bird stared at her, and Mordecai glanced back and forth between the two. Lilith stood patiently, waiting for a response. After what seemed like ages, Bloodwing clicked his beak once. Lilith smiled and held out her hand.

"Chica, don't! He'll take off your-"

"Shut up. I'm not worried."

To the hunter's complete surprise, Bloodwing clicked his beak again and allowed the woman to scritch his neck feathers.

"What the fuck," Mordecai breathed.

"I just have a way with birds, Scruffy. Don't be jealous."

"That's incredible. He doesn't let anyone touch him but me. Ever. Is that one of your weird Siren things?"

She shrugged. "Maybe. Also, I've been giving him treats when you're not paying attention."

Mordecai laughed, somewhat relieved. "Very sneaky. What kind of woman bribes a man's bird behind his back, eh?"

"One that would prefer not having her face ripped off."

"That's probably fair."

"I thought so too."

They looked at each other, both deadpan. Lilith, as usual, was the first to smile. She leaned back against the railing and looked up at the man.

"So this is it, huh? I was worried everything was gonna change."

"It probably will some. And if it does, so what? Things change, chica. Makes me feel old sayin' shit like this, but nothin' lasts forever, and with lives like ours, who knows. I don't wanna die wonderin' if there coulda been somethin' besides just killin' all the time. Don't get me wrong, I'm not done shootin' things in the head, but that doesn't mean I don't want to give somethin' else a try while I'm at it."

"Well said, Scruffy. I didn't know you had it in ya."

"Spend enough time alone waitin' to shoot things like I do, you get introspective sometimes."

She laughed. "So we still fight as a team, right?"

"Don't see why not. 'Sides, I think we scare 'em with our badassery."

"No doubt. But I don't want to be a liability to them, you know, watching out for each other and shit."

"I've always watched out for you, Lil. Not like you need it."

"And when I'm not busy setting things on fire I keep an eye out for you and Bloodwing, too. So I guess that's not really different either."

"Nope. Don't worry about it, chica. Just live in the moment, like we all do all the time."

Lilith nodded agreement and wrapped her arms around his waist, smaller even than her own. She looked up at him and he thought he could get lost in her eyes. She pulled away reluctantly.

"We should probably go back, huh? Don't want Mom to get worried."

"He's got a point though. Tomorrow's gonna be a rough one."

"Do you ever think it's weird? That Angel woman, I mean. Why is she helping us? We're not the only people looking for the vault."

"I don't know, and I don't care. All I want is to be with you and Bloodwing, get rich enough to buy this frigging planet, kill lots of things, and maybe, just maybe find you a microwave."

Lilith smiled and took his hand, speaking tenderly.

"Mordecai, if we survive that long, I might even share my popcorn with you."


	6. Chapter 6

A/N: Short one this time. You can tell how much I love Old Haven. /sarcasm I've got a bit of writer's block for the next chapter, so it might be a bit longer. In the meantime I'm working on other, angstier things, because that's my mood at the moment.

What's in store for this chapter? Things turn into goo, Vault Hunters are tired, and Lilith is bossy, as usual.

* * *

Mordecai shook his head as he approached the other three vault hunters. After scouting ahead and finding a vantage point from which to survey Old Haven, he had news.

"It looks bad. Lance are everywhere, and they've got a couple of turrets. I can put those outta commission pretty fast, but that's not gonna stop those goons from comin' after us."

"Let's just get in there and punch 'em!"

"Shut up, Brick." The other three said automatically.

"Did you see the Claptrap?" Roland asked.

"Yeah. It's past a shitload of Lance in a cage at the far end of town."

"Right. Okay. Mordy, you go with Brick and provide cover fire while you get those smoke signals dealt with. Lil, you come with me to get the robot. I'm counting on your phase blast to keep us out of clusterfucks. Everybody got it?"

Brick cracked his knuckles while Mordecai and Lilith nodded.

"Give 'em some sick, chica."

"Can't wait." She pulled the caustic revolver and looked at it lovingly.

"Come on, boys. Let's go kick some ass."

.

Mordecai crouched on a roof, watching over Brick. The berserker was in full frenzy, smashing helmets into skulls and ripping through everything- buildings and Lance both- with the rocket launcher he wielded like a shotgun. Every once in a while Mordecai would have to kill a soldier stupid enough to get close to Brick, but on the whole the sniper simply kept moving and took out strategically placed foes.

He was trying not to think about Lilith. Hours earlier he'd heard her whooping ecstatically and yelling, "FEEL IT!", but there was too much commotion now. He hadn't been exaggerating to the others; the Lance were everywhere. It was impossible to tell where they were coming from, but they still kept coming in a seemingly endless stream.

"_I wonder how that gun's treatin' her._" He thought while scrambling up onto yet another roof.

Down below, Brick had shut down the penultimate smoke signal and was heading for the last, which was closer to Lilith and Roland's goal. Mordecai went back to the ground and pulled a pistol, joining Brick.

"Having fun, Beefcake?"

"Hell yeah! Didja see what I did to that one guy's head? That was awesome."

"Uh huh." Mordecai replied while pegging a couple of approaching Lance. They didn't even have the time to deploy their turrets.

Disturbingly gooey corpses littered the ground where they now fought, no doubt products of Lilith's new toy. Trying to aim while avoiding the now-liquid Lancemen was becoming a serious pain in the ass and he called out to Brick while pounding up a flight of metal stairs.

"Goin' back up top, Beefcake!"

"See ya!" Brick yelled back, knuckle deep in a medic's face.

"Got the Claptrap," Lilith's voice came over the ECHO.

"_Good,_" he thought.

Now in position, he watched Brick punching his way into the junkyard. At least a dozen Lance were inside, waiting. Several shots later and there were significantly less of them, but most of them had turrets deployed and Brick was running into a trap.

"Shit. Shit, shit, shit." He muttered, aiming at the lead turret.

"Brick, watch it!" he yelled into the ECHO. "They're waitin' for you!"

Brick paused long enough to reload his rocket launcher and barged on. Mordecai growled in frustration and took his shot at the turret Brick would run into first. It exploded into shards and he laughed maniacally.

"Go on in, Blood. Save his dumb ass."

Bloodwing took off with a screech, coming down at an angle that the soldiers had no reason to expect trouble from. He swooped down on five unprepared men, killing three and maiming the others. Their turrets dropped just as Brick reached them and he abandoned his rocket launcher in favor of beating the few remaining Lance to death.

"What the fuck, Mordy. Nobody's here." He spoke peevishly into the ECHO.

"I know. You're welcome."

"Stealing kills again?" Lilith's voice came from behind him, accompanied by a burst of acid.

"God DAMN it, Lilith!" the sniper startled, still watching Brick through his scope. "I fucking hate it when you do that."

"It's really fun, though."

"Shouldn't you be, oh, I dunno, doin' your damn job?"

"Already did it." She said smugly.

"Then get back down there and do some more, for fuck's sake."

"Mordecai, I know you're wound a little bit tight right now, but I want you to do me a favor."

"Go away, Lil. Kinda busy."

"Does Brick look like he's in trouble?"

"Thanks to me and Blood, no."

"Uh huh. Now take a look around."

"You're gonna tell me they're all dead, and I've been babysittin' that maniac for no reason, aren't you?"

"Pretty much, yeah."

"It's easy to get zoned in doin' that," he started.

"Mmhmm. I know. Now can we leave before they send reinforcements?"

"We've only been at this for a few hours, I'm still good."

"I'm glad for you, but the rest of us are tired, oh manliest of men."

"If you say so, I guess I can back down. For the rest of you."

"Of course."

Mordecai brought the rifle from his eye and stashed it in his storage deck holster, a trick which never failed to amuse him. Lilith caught his slight smile.

"I know, it's like a bag of holding, isn't it?"

"What?"

"Nevermind, Scruffy. Come on."

.

The four vault hunters trudged into Pierce's office in the late afternoon, exhausted. She gave them some speech about Steele that Mordecai wasn't really listening to and a pile of cash that was only marginally more interesting.

"Hotel?" Lilith looked at Mordecai hopefully when they emerged from the office.

"Yeah." He replied.

"Good idea," Roland nodded.

"Beds are good."

"Yeah." Lilith stretched.

It took only minutes to register the rooms, though Lilith raised her eyebrow at the other three when the dusty, wizened owner bitterly told them to pick whichever of the continually empty fifteen rooms they wanted. Settling for the same room they'd stayed in on Towel Night, as Lilith called it, the pair made their way up the dingy stairs, through the door, and onto the bed where they lay unmoving. Bloodwing made for the lamp just before his master hit the mattress.

"Fucking Lance." Lilith said, finally breaking the silence.

"Fucking Lance." Mordecai agreed.

"Why were there so many?"

"No idea. It's like they were regenerating or somethin'."

"That makes no sense, Scruffy."

"Still, though."

"Yeah."

They lay for a while longer, both staring dully at the ceiling. Lilith groaned theatrically.

"And tomorrow the Salt Flats. It sounds…"

"Salty?"

"Exactly."

"I've gotta go feed Blood." Mordecai said, making no move to do so. He rummaged around his person, looking for the pouch of dried meat.

"C'mere, Blood," he tried to entice the bird by shaking the bag. "It's delicious. Just c'mere."

Lilith raised her head to peek at Bloodwing.

"He's not even looking at you. Actually, I think he's making a point of not looking at you."

Mordecai sighed. "It was worth a try."

He dragged himself off of the bed and sat on the dresser next to Bloodwing's perch. It squeaked in protest but he ignored it, holding a piece of jerky out for the bird. Bloodwing stared at it for a moment before taking it.

"I know it's not fresh, amigo, but I'm not gonna go back out and kill somethin', are you?"

"By the way, are we going to eat?" Lilith asked from the bed.

"I don't care."

"How do you not starve?"

"I eat."

"Sort of."

He shrugged, still feeding Bloodwing.

"Think if we put something on the bounty board someone would get us food?"

"Does anyone look at that other than us?"

"I saw some other vault hunters here the other day, maybe one of them'll do it. We always get the real bounties, I bet they'd love the work."

"Do whatever you want, chica."

"Ugh. I don't even know how. I just know how to, you know, do what we do."

Mordecai shrugged again, slumped against the wall. Everything hurt. Climbing all over those rooftops had been fine when the adrenaline was going, but now he was paying the price. He wouldn't be surprised if he'd pulled his stitches.

"I could ECHO someone," she mused, still staring at the ceiling.

"Woman, you're obsessed."

"Shut up and lemme think. Who's in town?"

"Pierce, Marcus, Zed, Scooter, that guy who told us never to contact him again, um…I dunno, Lil. People."

She activated her ECHO.

"Hey, uh, Scooter?...Yeah, it's me, the pretty one."

Mordecai snorted.

"Look, I don't know how to work the bounty board and…" she paused, listening.

"No, I know how to pick up bounties, Scooter, but thanks…No, what I want to…is there anybody in town that can…no, damn it! I'm just tired! And hungry!...are you serious?...that would be incredible, yes…no, I don't know what they're doing, just me and Mordecai…yeah, the one who needs a friggin' sandwich…Scooter, you are a prince among men…yes, that's a good thing…yeah, we are…okay…yeah, see you soon. Thanks again."

"What just happened?"

"He's bringing us food, says he owes us one. Also I think he likes my tits."

"Can't blame him, really."

"They have their advantages."

Bloodwing was done eating, and Mordecai slumped back to the bed while attempting a lascivious look.

"I like them too."

"But you aren't bringing me food, so I don't care."

"That should probably hurt, but the rest of me hurts too much to notice."

"You hurt?" she rolled over and looked at him with concern.

"You don't?"

"I spent a lot of time phasing, it's…I dunno. Weird. I'm just tired."

"I spent all day on the normal, everyday plane of existence, climbin' on fuckin' rooftops."

"Poor Mordy. Is there anything I can…do?" she leaned over him with a meaningful look.

Mordecai was spared the need to respond with a crackle from his ECHO.

"Hi there," an exaggeratedly sexy female voice said over the line, "am I speaking to the lean, mean Vault Hunter with the bird who's been tearin' up my Circles?"

"Who the hell are you?" he demanded, irritated.

"Oh my, aren't you a forceful one!" she giggled. "The name's Moxxi, and I'm the owner of those miniature slaughter circles you've been getting it on with."

"And?"

"I operate a little place called The Underdome that I think you could really turn up the heat in. That is, if you think you can handle it a little harder. The challenge, that is."

"That's nice lady, but this isn't really a good time."

"Oh no, of course." She laughed flirtatiously, making Mordecai want to grit his teeth, "You're looking for the Vault. Of course. But if you want some real excitement, come and see me. I'm always…open."

She disconnected, and Mordecai snarled.

"Sometimes I really hate this thing."

"What, the ECHO? I'm just assuming here that you weren't talking to yourself. We haven't even seen Tannis lately, I don't think you could have caught it from her."

"You're a laugh a minute, Lilith."

"Yep. So what's got your panties in a bunch?"

"Some woman called Moxxi, says she owns the circles and some place called the Underdome. Wants me to go there and fight, I guess. Or fuck me. I couldn't tell. She sounds like a real piece of work."

"Are you gonna do it?"

"Fight, or fuck her?"

"I think I want you to answer that."

"Fight, maybe. After the vault. Fuck her, no. I'm more of a one woman at a time man."

"That's almost romantic."

"That, and she sounds kinda insane."

"I'm glad you have such a strict vetting process."

"Kiddin', chica. Not about the insane part, because I'm pretty sure she is, but the other. Who could want anyone else when they've got you?"

"That really was romantic."

"Pretend I'm kissin' the hell out of you, okay? I can't move."

"I can do better than that," Lilith said, and leaned over him.

There was a knock at the door.

"Damn it," Lilith stopped inches from Mordecai's face.

"Hey there, vault hun'ners! I got'cher food here. Catch some gruuuuuuuuub!"

Bloodwing screeched.

"This is your doing. You get the door."

She grimaced and bounced off of the bed, flinging open the door with a purposely dazzling smile.

"Hi, Scooter! Thank you so much for doing this for us!" she took him by the shoulder and eased the paper bag of food out of his dazed hands.

"I hope this is enough to cover it, and I can't wait to do the next job you have for us. You're the best!" she air kissed both of his cheeks and slapped some money into his hand.

Skillfully, she turned him around with the arm that was still around his shoulder and continued talking without a break.

"This has been such a super tiring day and you bringing this food was just the kindest thing you could have done and we both appreciate it so much. Have a wonderful night!"

She released him and closed the door, collapsing in the chair by the rickety table, head in her hands.

"I'll, uh, catch you later!" Scooter called through the door, sounding bewildered.

Over on the bed Mordecai was shaking with silent laughter.

"Lil," he gasped, sitting up painfully, "what the hell was that?"

"I got rid of him, didn't I?" she retorted with a shudder. "I feel so dirty."

"Hope for your sake it was worth it."

Lilith peeked into the bag and her eyes went wide. She reached in and pulled out two comically oversized sandwiches wrapped in newspaper, four bottles of rakk ale, and a clear box of leafy greens. She held the box close to her face and sniffed it with a look of pure joy.

"Look at this," she breathed. "A salad. A real salad. With things that aren't meat."

"The hell did he find a salad on Pandora?" Mordecai asked, reaching for a bottle.

"I have no idea. And you, stop that." She slapped his hand, "Sandwich first. Booze later."

"Have I told you lately that you're bossy as hell?"

"Have I given a shit lately?"

"I doubt it." He picked up one of the sandwiches and unwrapped it gingerly. It was full of unidentifiable meat, condiments, and what was hopefully some sort of cheese. He sniffed it.

"So?" Lilith prompted through a mouthful of green.

"Actually, it smells pretty decent."

"So eat the fucking thing."

He took a bite, and found it wasn't nearly as bad as it looked. Of course, go long enough without food and just about anything was delicious, and even for him the amount of food he'd eaten in the past two days was pretty low. Lilith munched contentedly on her salad, watching him eat.

"You're starting to give me the creeps, chica."

"I just realized that I hardly ever see you eat."

"Damn it, what is with you three? I eat! I'd be fuckin' dead by now if I didn't."

"Speaking of which, how are those stitches?"

"I dunno," he shrugged. "Think I mighta ripped 'em a little today."

"Ew. I'm not a doctor but I'm pretty sure that's bad."

"I'll take a look at 'em later." He snagged a bottle and opened it.

Lilith made a face. "At least you ate half. Salad?"

"Yeah, what the fuck. Vitamins."

She opened her own sandwich and began to devour it, mentioning aloud that none of them gave Scooter enough credit. Bloodwing dozed on his lamp perch and by the time Mordecai finished his second bottle of ale he had managed to eat the majority of his sandwich and the remaining salad while ignoring Lilith's teasing.

She finished eating and stood, reaching out her hands to pull Mordecai off of the bed.

"Time to get those clothes off of you, Scruffy. A nice shower will do you good."

"I'm only goin' if you're goin'."

"Water conservation," she nodded seriously. "very conscious of natural resources, I see."

She began to strip, and he did the same. They both divested themselves of their boots, then their various belts, holsters, and Mordecai's mask relatively quickly, but came together of one mind when the time came for clothes. Lilith tilted her head upward for a kiss, and the hunter readily complied. Their arms wrapped around each other for a few moments until Mordecai's hands slid up Lilith's torso to pull off her vest.

She kissed him harder, and he unzipped her sweater and removed it with a similar motion, running his hands up the sides of her ribcage and just barely grazing her breasts with his thumbs. Lilith pulled away for breath, and explored his face with her eyes.

"I don't get to see you enough."

"Keeps me interesting."

"Hmm, could be," she smiled and stroked his chest on the way down to the zipper of his vest.

Mordecai put his arm around her waist, fingers tracing lazy circles over the small of her back. Lilith peeled the now unzipped halves apart, and stopped dead. Mordecai looked quizzically at her, wondering at her sudden dismay. Before he could ask, she spoke.

"You know, I think you did rip those stitches, Killer. That's a lot of blood."

He looked down at his shirt. Dark splotches spread from the curving line of his wound, spreading several inches away. He sighed.

"That explains why it hurts, then."

"Exactly how bad was that? I was kidding when I said I thought you were gonna die…"

He shrugged slightly, trying not to show that it pained him. "Bad enough. You're not worried, are ya?"

"Of course I am, asshole. Did we not just have a cute little heart to heart less than twenty-four hours ago?"

She began to peel off his shirt, working gently over the bandage where the blood had soaked through and dried. At an expectant look from her, he raised his arms enough for her to work the shirt off. Now exposed, the sight was not pretty. The bandage had soaked up much of the blood before it reached his shirt and needed changing badly. She peeled enough of it away to peek at Zed's less-than-perfect stitches, and the fact that they had indeed ripped in several places. She handed the shirt back to Mordecai.

"Zed's. Now."

"I'm fine, chica."

"Don't make me shoot you."

"I'm not leaving Bloodwing."

Lilith rolled her eyes. "I'll stay with your _sleeping _bird so he doesn't get lonely or whatever, okay? Go."

"He might-"

"Go." She glared.

"I can make my own-"

"Go. Now." She held up her left hand, which had begun oozing acid.

"For the love of loot, woman."

"Have fun with the needles."


End file.
